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The furthest that I’ve ventured out when it comes to online dating is when I exchanged numbers with a game mate.
It felt innocent enough and to make sure that I didn’t venture too outside of my comfort zone, I told him that I was only interested in casual conversation. Unbeknownst to me, the next eight weeks would consist of public spates, hangups, and me ultimately taking a break from my newly purchased Oculus 3. During my brief experience with having what I would label as an encounter, I thought of three big mistakes that one could make when it comes to dating online.
#1 Revealing Too Much Too Soon
Some people are just easier to talk to than others. So much so, that you can find yourself disclosing your personal life experiences with a total stranger. The problem with that is you may end up feeling too exposed if things turn sour. Online dating doesn’t have the best success rate so it may be best to keep those buried family secrets to yourself. Instead, focus on more lighter subjects and when you find that they’re sharing too much, politely change the subject. In this regard, you’ll be considering them as well.
#2 Sharing Private Pictures
Oddly enough, I was called facetime on the following day after giving my number to him and within a week, asked to send photos that weren’t already on social media so that he could feel special. I was mortified! Perhaps I’m just out of the loop but this gave “red flag” vibes since this all happened less than 24 hours upon us exchanging numbers. And he wasn’t shy about sharing his pics and they were very personal. Some would say that his intentions were clear.
I understand that no one wants to be catfished but at least wait until both parties have expressed mutual interest. There’s no point in sharing photos if you’re just being casual. Casual relationships get casually posted media pics.
#3 Meeting Up Alone
This has to be one of the most publicized mistakes when it comes down to online dating safety concerns. I cannot stress how important it is to vet someone prior to meeting them, especially when you’re not going with a group. A public setting doesn’t even matter anymore because there’s the potential of being followed home. A lot of us never went into law enforcement but when it comes down to finding someone’s misdeeds via the internet, we can contend for an honorary PHD. Social feeds and pictures are screened sometimes dating years back in addition to family member profiles and close friends. This is done ultimately to observe any personality traits that have not been demonstrated during phone interactions. Humans are good at pretending, but the front can only stand up for so long.
If you’re considering online dating, use discretion and trust your gut instincts. Red flags are warning signals to stop forward progression. When you see one, stop! When it’s right, it rarely feels wrong.
Davina Sims
Please follow me on Instagram @davinasims_