Davina Sims

I’m learning to extend the grace that I lend to others, to myself. Recently I found myself missing the conversation of someone who I’d gotten to know but chose to disconnect from. Initially, I punished him for being the reason behind our abrupt departure from our nightly ritual of long talks. After all, I thought that I’d done my due diligence by reiterating time and time again that a long distance relationship was not feasible for me but these discussions often landed on def ears. And now I have the task of acting like the time spent never happened. If I’m being honest, I knew the time had come to create some distance but I wasn’t prepared for the gap that it would leave.

In the times when I found myself wanting to talk to Bob (for the sake of this blog I’ll just call him this), I would find myself on his social media pages, taking care not to like anything. Doing this kind of confirmed what I’d stated to him, that we weren’t compatible. If we’d met in person, the likelihood of us making it beyond our first interaction, is slim. Our differences and preferences would have cancelled any notion of us making beyond Hello. But because we met amongst others on an online social platform, we forgave our differences and chose to just listen to each other.

It took something transpiring in my life, that caused me to yearn for something more genuine although not immediate. I was willing to wait on it but I knew that I couldn’t have other connections whilst waiting for it. It was not an easy decision but a mature one. Mature decisions don’t usually come with immediate feelings of gratitude. So although I miss the act of engaging with someone who I found to be humorous and caring at times, I trust in the choice that I made. It doesn’t feel good but it feels right.

Davina Sims